dont know what to say.

Oatmeal♥...Ivan♥♥..

Start being more mature
No more childish in my life♥

22/5


I am wondering that 14 years i had been living on the earth
haven being try to eat oatmeal so,today i'm free
i use my afternoon time to make it♥

Preparing items :**the pic above
add your favourite fruits
mine is apple♥
lazy to list out alry i think u all got eyes,rite?jkjk

First,just cut ur fruits into mini size or large size
make the decision yourself.

i♥mini size
so that's why my body size also become like that
**surprising

**Yeah
Finally, i done it but i feel like so disgusting
is this oatmeal?
lol

I make it for my dear too,Ivan, u can see him up there
While i enjoying my oatmeal, i lying on the grass it's feel comfortable
like it♥
watching the sky but the weather looking not good

Hehe took after I cry, look very ugly and blur.
Ivan, u alway say that when u see me cry,
u will feel very hurt.
But i cry till i dun have energy,
so y don u cum back?

TankQ XinQuan kor♥♥
TankQ Choonhup kor ♥♥
For pei me so long last night and always be there for me no matter till wat time.

TankQ Joel kor♥♥
TankQ Edmund kor♥♥
For alway lend me ur shoulders.

TankQ Cherng Woei kor♥♥
For listen to my stupid story and for cheer me.

Memory of the funeral day...♥

@ the funeral,

when i saw ur face,
ur nose, mouth, eye all not same place..
ur body swell, i almost can not recognized u..
it is very heartbroken, but i try my best not to drop my tear on ur coffin.
the feel was very pain. like die pain.
all relative and friends came.
i was very please.
TankQ for all those who haf cum to the funeral.
The one did not cum, nbm.
My dear ivan wud not blame u.
when chatting wif all the friends there,
i remember the past when we all always go out together.
tat time, u always smile til very happy de.
ur smile always make me very happy and i feel very comfortable.
once i tink of u,
my tears just fall down.

ytd, all my friends and family comfort me.
all tell me to move on and stay strong for almost 1 year.
But it is not easy,
u can just say it easily,
but if u at my position now,
u don no how much pain it is.
i try my best alrdy,
really tough.

tank Q for comfort me,
but i still can not control my tear.

my papa and my jie jie took leave for work just to see my dear ivan,
my heart was touch.
i alway tink tat my papa don like ivan.
but til tat day,
i find out tat my papa see him as his own son.
he trust tat ivan can take care of me.
tank Q all,
for let me konw tat there haf many other ppl caring me by my side.
@ the funeral, i left early.

The next day,
i had to take a pray stick(香) to pray,
i don no y, i did not haf the courage to look at him.
i was very scare.
I wait til all my friends and family go then i only go.
When i go near ivan coffin,
I just cry again.
I wish i can hug him again.
i could feel tat he was very scared.
everyone was crying.

Dear,
ur coffin was lift up and ready to be burn in ash.
my ash ivan...
my heart was really pain.
i feel like stop them and pull u back out.
but it is never possible..
i really feel i very useless.
i only know how to cry!
at the time,
everyone cry more..
listen to them cry,
my brain flash back when u hold my hand, when i lie on ur stomach,
is all gonna turn into the ash.
at the moment,
i feel i becum weak.

On the way home,
i realize many tings,
although u will never come back,
although my happy ending haf gone,
although i can never touch u again, never see u again,
although i lost half of my life.
But..
the most important ting now is,
finish ur dreams,
be happy every second,
this is wat u wan to see.
i will work hard to be happy.
i will never forget u.
i will let the love u carved into my heart,
turn into the most beautiful memories.
For the sake of him, my family, my friends,
I will be strong!
so ivan hubby, u don need to worry about me.
don worry that im hungry, don worry that im sick,
i will never give up my life.
i will miss u forever, hug u tight forever.

we will be destined together after life!

Cum back to me....♥

I just back the home . Dun feel like eat.
After the dream i had 2 days ago, i keep remember everyting of u.

I remember few day after u leave me,
I go next door to find ur tings.
when i go in ur room,
everyting was gone.
ur bed was gone.
my picture wif me and u was gone.
all his ting has disapear together wif him.
i admit,
these day i still miss u.
i still canot accept the fact that u gone.
i still tink many.
sumtime i can feel that u are here.
just like before,
u work at the mall and
i always wait for u at the teddy bear shop.
my heart is pain, very pain.
but, i nid to stay strong in front of my family.
i canot make them very worry.
I am really tired!!Really tired!!
ivan,
where r u ?
when r u coming back?
i am waiting for u, u noe ma?
i fix ur bicycle already,
i wait u back to fetch me on ur bicycle.
where r u?
can u just let me see u once??
just once....
tat is wat i only wan..
is tat too mch to ask for?

Where r u♥

Listening to my blogg song

My tears fall, it was ur favorrite .

Ivan,

After that day, i always Miss you

and

I also♥u

Can u see me or hear me?

ur bwirfday is coming soon, will u cum back and visit me?

T.T


I reli miss the days back then.

muacksss

U must be strong up there ok?

When will u cum back?

i will wait u cum back



U always say u wan to see me wear this hat,
but u didnt haf the chance to saw and just left to far away,
so now i show u, hope u can see it T.T


TankQ Joel kor for the ting u write in ur blog, i just saw: www.choco-love-coco.blogspot.com

Sick..Too Bad♥

'm sick-ING
3 days sick like hell
Headache is coming around me now
My stomach feel terrible,I'm gonna VOMIT
Oh yeah,
The malays go to blah blah blah

NO such word as
Medicine & Doctor in my life
TQ!

I dream of him again.:many blood on you, you cry in pain. I was too late.
Y u throw me alone here?
Y did u just leave before say any last word to me?
U must be very scared,the car sudden appear....
U must have be very hurt..
U promise me many things, you havent do, and you just left.
Sorry, it was my bwirfday was soon, you went to buy my present and haf no chance to come back.
What you doing now?Is it like a dream? Or just a blank.


Taken after few day you left me.

This was present you bought for me, but you T.T... couldnt give me in time and you just left T.T

Monday♥

I was wondering that why last night i late sleep

Then today 7am++wake up alry
it's miracle
Morning breakfast,
my glass of full fresh of HL milk and a bowl of ''zu cheong fan''
my mummy ♥ to eat it

Later still need to study
so difficult

I had to finish my breakfast
although my mum will scold me like hell
hahaha