Thursday, May 20, 2010

Memory of the funeral day...♥


@ the funeral,

when i saw ur face,
ur nose, mouth, eye all not same place..
ur body swell, i almost can not recognized u..
it is very heartbroken, but i try my best not to drop my tear on ur coffin.
the feel was very pain. like die pain.
all relative and friends came.
i was very please.
TankQ for all those who haf cum to the funeral.
The one did not cum, nbm.
My dear ivan wud not blame u.
when chatting wif all the friends there,
i remember the past when we all always go out together.
tat time, u always smile til very happy de.
ur smile always make me very happy and i feel very comfortable.
once i tink of u,
my tears just fall down.

ytd, all my friends and family comfort me.
all tell me to move on and stay strong for almost 1 year.
But it is not easy,
u can just say it easily,
but if u at my position now,
u don no how much pain it is.
i try my best alrdy,
really tough.

tank Q for comfort me,
but i still can not control my tear.

my papa and my jie jie took leave for work just to see my dear ivan,
my heart was touch.
i alway tink tat my papa don like ivan.
but til tat day,
i find out tat my papa see him as his own son.
he trust tat ivan can take care of me.
tank Q all,
for let me konw tat there haf many other ppl caring me by my side.
@ the funeral, i left early.

The next day,
i had to take a pray stick(香) to pray,
i don no y, i did not haf the courage to look at him.
i was very scare.
I wait til all my friends and family go then i only go.
When i go near ivan coffin,
I just cry again.
I wish i can hug him again.
i could feel tat he was very scared.
everyone was crying.

Dear,
ur coffin was lift up and ready to be burn in ash.
my ash ivan...
my heart was really pain.
i feel like stop them and pull u back out.
but it is never possible..
i really feel i very useless.
i only know how to cry!
at the time,
everyone cry more..
listen to them cry,
my brain flash back when u hold my hand, when i lie on ur stomach,
is all gonna turn into the ash.
at the moment,
i feel i becum weak.

On the way home,
i realize many tings,
although u will never come back,
although my happy ending haf gone,
although i can never touch u again, never see u again,
although i lost half of my life.
But..
the most important ting now is,
finish ur dreams,
be happy every second,
this is wat u wan to see.
i will work hard to be happy.
i will never forget u.
i will let the love u carved into my heart,
turn into the most beautiful memories.
For the sake of him, my family, my friends,
I will be strong!
so ivan hubby, u don need to worry about me.
don worry that im hungry, don worry that im sick,
i will never give up my life.
i will miss u forever, hug u tight forever.

we will be destined together after life!

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